So, as I was sitting there, in this quite park, alongside the lake, for at least 3 hours, contemplating a beautiful sunset, couldn’t stop thinking. I decided it was time. Time to accept. Time to acknowledge. Time to write it down. Time to stop overthinking it and put literally pen to paper.
Hello again guys! Welcome back.
After a short period of time, I’m finally back on track with my blog. Hard to combine sometimes with your work obligations and extra activities.
For this daily back-on-track post, I am going to write a bit more with my heart. Usually, I write with my eyes, as I post about things that I have seen along my travels and my life abroad. Do not leave yet, this is a topic that actually interests more than you could even imagine. It may touch especially travelers, but also so many among you.
Still about lifestyle, I’m gonna give you more personal feelings about living by yourself abroad.
Have you ever had this feeling of something missing in your life? This urge to find your way and a place you can finally call home? I thought I had that, more than once. But at some point, you feel like you don’t belong. Is this a Millenium symptom? You know they call us like that…. So is it?
I thought I belonged, then I realized I was missing something. I didn’t know what at the time until I found a part of it. Big part. But when I realized I almost had it all, I bailed. I wasn’t the only one but I did.
Now, 30 years old, I am still searching. But what is “all”? Love? Friends? Home? Family? Work?
I came to China thinking I would fit perfectly. Find it “all”. You know, this rush of excitement to go live far away, take your life in another direction and think all of your problems will be long gone once you land.
I left in love, which wasn’t planned actually. I landed and oh boy… I was doing it. Starting over and from scratch. The thing is, I wasn’t. I was in love. I left. I fought for that but it didn’t work as I planned, again! I tried to find my way completely on my own. Something was still missing, beside of my true love (hum). And it still is missing. I came to get a perfect job, I live in an amazing city and country, still I find myself asking many questions about what the heck am I supposed to do. Indeed, I am heart-broken, but the topic isn’t that. Finding a job isn’t either. So what is it?
Well, after 2 breaks up, unplanned apartment switch, I had to manage starting a new life, so far away from everything that I know. Find new friends, get along with your roommates, start a new career, handle life differently as the mentality is different (so is the language).
Don’t get me wrong, living abroad is an amazing adventure, but it has its pros and also BIG cons when you decide to take off that far. If I had to do it all over again, I would do it differently, but I would still do it. I would manage things differently but I would still come. And we all know not everyone is ready or is willing to jump that kind of leap in his life. Doesn’t mean you are week or afraid, just mean you don’t feel like traveling is such a great thing to do in your own personal experience.
In the other hand, I feel like this but some amazing bloggers or huge travel lovers do not feel that way at all. Do not trust everything you see/read on their Instagram or blog though, not all of it is perfect as they say it is. I told you, amazing adventure with a lot of good things, so are the down sides.
As good as it can get, at some point, alone, facing all of these new crazy adventures, you may start to realize some things are still missing. Trust me, it is ok, nothing’s wrong with you. Those #TravelBloggers & instagramers don’t tell you the whole story. My French colleague, who lives with her twin sister and have an amazing boyfriend, feels that way from time to time. She does belong, she feels good about her life, but….
For me, it is all about “Do I belong?”. I started asking myself that while leaving the man I love behind. I am still asking myself that question over and over being single. Do I belong here or back “home”? Or any other place? As much as I love my new “home”, this life, my roommates and my job, I still feel incomplete.
In this indefinite quest of finding the place you truly belong, you can still enjoy few things. Just remember this: traveling is amazing, but if you do it for the wrong reason, you may end up questioning everything around you or in your life as I did a few weeks ago. As I sat there, alongside the lake, writing down my inner thoughts, I share some information with you. See, not everything is black or white, but when it seems to be, ask yourself the good questions: are you running away or seriously considering a fresh start with all your baggage and past?
Hope you guys enjoyed a small lecture about traveling, hope you still are as adventurous as before (not that I think I can influence your life decisions!).
Travel a lot, travel smart, think it through and most of all: enjoy it!
See you soon guys!